3 Giant Killers (and You’re the Giant!)
“Figure out who you are and do it on purpose.” ~ Dolly Parton
Have you ever wondered who the real “you” is? If you’ve asked yourself “why did I say that?” or “why did I do that?” when it doesn’t seem authentic, you may be the victim of FOG.
FOG is an acronym for Fear, Obligation and Guilt, three enemies of being who you really are.
FOG comes from two sources:
- Past experiences or failures.
- Other people.
Being authentic can be tough. Especially when you’re close to people who take advantage of certain hot buttons, or weaknesses, or empty spots in your heart. You become prone to making decisions based on the Fear, Obligation and Doubt that they put you in, like being in a London fog.
The word “authentic” comes from a Greek word meaning “original” and is a compound of two words meaning “self” and “doer” or “being.” In other words, being authentic means being yourself… who you really are, the original!
Authenticity means being yourself.
But that can be hard to do when someone puts you in a FOG.
And even though you don’t feel like it, you’re bigger than FOG makes you feel. FOG makes you feel small, unimportant, weak… but you are bigger than FOG makes you feel!
Especially if you’ve made mistakes in your past, living in a cloud of Fear, Obligation and Guilt makes you feel fake. Incomplete. Phoney.
Because when you live that way, you’re not being authentic, not who you really are… you’re being who someone else thinks you should be. How demeaning. And how devastating!
Here you are, a beautiful creation, with your own unique set of gifts and talents and abilities, and someone, or some experience, puts you in a FOG. You lose sight of who you REALLY are. You begin to live by THEIR expectations and standards, rather than your own.
Yes, you’re bigger than that. You have a giant heart with giant strength and a giant purpose. You matter.
Get back to your authentic self. Don’t let what you think others expect of you determine what you will be.
Make this commitment:*
I am no longer willing to let fear, obligation and guilt control my decisions. I am a pretty cool person with beauty and strength. I can stand on my own two feet. If I’m new at this, I promise myself that if I slip, I will not use that as an excuse to stop trying. I’m going to take good care of myself, and acknowledge the positive steps I take. And it’s going to be OK, because from this moment forward, I am authentic!
Fear, Obligation and Guilt are out to get you. But pull out your own sword, your own dagger, call them Authenticity, and watch the 3 giant killers fall away.
We need you to be who you really are. Enjoy being yourself, and enjoy the freedom and beauty and power of being authentic.
This is easy to write… and can be very difficult to do. I know.
Still, it is absolutely worth the effort to get into the new territory of being yourself. If this is you, start the journey now.
How will making the commitment to stand on your own two feet, no longer making decisions based on fear or obligation or guilt, affect you?
*adapted from Emotional Blackmail, by Susan Forward, PhD